Divided Unity
by greatnightmare
Summary: Sequel to Darkest Light. After the dust settles from Mila's trial she has no choice than to leave Bucky alone if she wants to protect him. But when an international act of terrorism makes breaking news and she sees her old target and lover is to blame, Mila has to get involved and stop him, even if that means loosing her friends and her freedom. Bucky/OC follows Civil War
1. Prologue

**AN: I wanted to get a sequel out ASAP so you could put it on your alerts. Also I'm excited for this are you?and do you like the picture I made?**

* * *

It had been a total of seven months since Mila had seen her Bucky. Seven long months of trying to keep herself occupied, on the straight and narrow, and looking for an opportunity to escape back to their apartment in Romania. She barely had time to adjust to a routine at the Avengers compound before her world had been flipped around again. Traveling across the globe was not part of her probation she was certain. But the World Court was willing to make exceptions for certain events especially the one that placed her in London. But being in London staring that the TV, it was the last place she thought she would ever see Bucky.

"Officials have released a video of the suspect, who they have identified as James Buchanan Barnes; the Winter Solider. The infamous HYDRA Agent linked to numerous acts of terrorism and political assassinations. Stay tuned for further information."

Mila grabbed Sam's hand who had been standing next to her. She felt like her world was collapsing. She made a promise to Bucky. If he ever went back to the Winter Solider and HYDRA's control she promised to kill him then to let him hurt more people. Mila had to make it to him first and try to save him probation or not. She pulled a knife from a hidden sheath at her thigh and without hesitation cut the bracelet off.

"Guys." The trio of Sam, Steve, and Sharon looked at her as she handed the bracelet to Sharon. "I know where he is. We need to get to him ASAP."


	2. Explain Yourself

**AN: please do not kill me. I ask in advance for your forgiveness.**

* * *

 _Up at night I'm awake 'cause it haunts me  
That I never got to say what I wanted  
I'm not the same as I was with you_

… _.  
now I just wanna know are you?  
I'm fine  
Drop tears in the morning  
Give in to the lonely  
Here it comes with no warning  
Capsize, I'm first in the water  
Too close to the bottom  
I'm right back where I started  
Said I'm fine_

 _-Capsize by Frenship_

* * *

"I think he's going to make a move soon." Mila said looking at the computer screen before her. She had spent the last couple of hours begrudgingly helping the Avenger's run scans on the dark web to track the whereabouts of a man she wanted nothing to do with, not even his murder. While Brock Rumlow (or Crossbones as he was now going by) deserved any cruel thing fate could give him for what he did to Mila, she had enough time to cope and knew murdering him would be a mercy for his crimes. Mila absently rubbed the white scars that ran around both wrists as she sat there thinking of him.

"How soon?" Her friend from the war, Steve Rogers, asked. Steve kneeled down beside her trying to decipher the messages on the screen. Steve was fairly comfortable with the internet, but the dark web stuff; he was in over his head. He was glad to have Mila there to help him.

"I'm not quite sure. It looks like he has a few job offers from some pretty rough people. I think that he's getting restless. Looks like he has posted at least four different job offers. I have been running an algorithm to hack into his inboxes and try to track where he is posting this stuff from."

"Any luck with that?" He shifted his weight and put his elbows up on the computer desk in her room.

"I'm getting just a general location. Somewhere on the Western coast of Africa. I would need to keep running the code breaker, but by the time I get a hit he could have moved again. He must of spent the money he got off selling me buying some good ass tech." Mila ground her jaw a bit at the fact. Rumlow had managed to capture her and sell her to the highest bidder, but not before taking out his revenge on her by scaring her body and shattering a relationship. Well that second part was on her for keeping the truth hidden from her fiancé for so long.

"Well I appreciate everything you are doing. I know it's not easy for you to do this." Steve reached out to grab her fidgeting hands. He knew the details of what Rumlow had done to her, he had heard it all when Mila was on trial for everything she did while under the control of HYDRA working as the Red Sentinel. She was able to get out clear for two main reasons; her job was to hunt the Winter Solider and when she had finally been free of their mind control she didn't stir up trouble in any slight. That meant though she had to reveal to the courts what had happened while she was free and hiding from the law.

"If it helps you bring him down, I'm in. But I won't be there when it comes time to strike the blows." Mila and Steve already had numerous arguments concerning the subject of Rumlow. Mila didn't want her friends to get hurt trying to get revenge for her. Steve didn't care, he was hardly innocent and needed to be brought to court and giving him a few beatings before he got there wouldn't hurt. Mila told Steve after a few cool down sessions in the gym over the past month that it didn't matter what they did to Rumlow, his damage on Mila was done and over with.

"I know," he squeezed her hand for comfort. "and after we get him we can focus on finding Bucky." Mila's heart skipped a beat at the mention of his name. Bucky was, as cliché as it sounded, her true love. They met back in the war when she went as Betty. When they were both in the army and then the Howling Commandos. They both got swept up in HYDRA and Red Room plots to change the world. Both had been brainwashed but with very different techniques. Bucky was conditioned, but Mila been surgically changed to comply. The device, still in her head today, had controlled every chemical aspect of her brain and made her compliant without doubt. A statement they put to the test when she was ordered to kill her own three-year old nephew. She didn't hesitate to pull the trigger. It was after that, that Betty had also died and she went by the Red Sentinel. After multiple missions of making sure the Winter Solider completed his own missions and hunting down if he broke programming, she got caught up with an old friend who helped free her because she owed her a debt. Natasha made sure to help Mila get back to normal and five years after the Black Widow she trained helped free her she ran into the Winter Solider, her Bucky again in a museum she worked at. From there it was roller coaster to say the least to help each other get back to the relationship they had.

Until Rumlow got between them capturing them both and telling the ignorant Bucky that the person he hated most, the one who always brought him back to HYDRA, the Red Sentinel, was Mila. Rumlow easily turned Bucky against her and left her behind. Mila had been tortured, beaten, and raped by Rumlow before he sold her to Von Struker. Again, she was able to find a way to get back to Bucky and had been up til six months ago been living with Bucky in his apartment in Romania while they tried to make things work better. No more secrets and actually being open with each other. They had been working so well together and enjoying a normal life until Mila went back to New York to visit Bucky's sister in the nursing home. It was there that she had been arrested and put on trial before the World Court and then drug around to five other countries for a trial. Mila was sentenced to probation and to live with the Avenger's in their compound as Steve was a friend the courts could trust her to be with.

"Steve, what happens if we don't find him?" More so, Mila was worried that Bucky wouldn't honor the promise she left with his shop manager back in Romania.

"We will and then I swear I am going to round up a pastor and get you two married. I won't let you miss another chance for you two to be happy." Steve ruffled her now shorter curlier hair. It was styled much like she had back in the 40's per Natasha's suggestion.

She swatted his hand away causing Steve to chuckle. "Would you stop it punk." Steve pulled his hand back and rested his chin on his hand on the table.

"If this is too much for you Bett- Mila," He pressed his lips into a hard line at his mistake. Sometimes it was so easy for him to forget this woman wasn't the same girl he became friends with during the war. "sorry. If all this work is too much too soon just say something. I know you just got here-"

"Steve." Her frim pronunciation stopped him. "It's not the work that is bothering me. I rather enjoy all the busy work. Keeps me distracted and I get to use all those skills HYDRA and the Red Room taught me for good." She stopped appreciating for a moment the irony of her statement. HYDRA and the Red Room used her to crack into computers and other databases throughout the years as the second part to most the Winter Soldier's missions. Her enhanced memory allowed her to complete many reconnaissance missions to perfection.

"But?"

"But I miss him."

"I do too Mila." He pulled her in for a comforting hug and she rested her head on his shoulder.

"I just thought, throughout that whole shit show with the World Court, maybe Bucky would see it and he would turn himself in. But I guess he is a little more realistic. He knows he wouldn't have the same _great_ results as me."

"You know two years of strict probation and house arrest at the compound is a lot better than being held up in a maximum security international prison."

"Yeah which is exactly where Buck would end up." Mila said pulling away from Steve.

"Well I'm sure between Stark Industries and the Avengers, we could pull something off and get him a similar sent-"

"NO!" Mila pushed her swivel chair away from the desk and stood. Steve rose to stand preparing, if need be, to take another beating from the woman in front of him. While she didn't look it with her smaller frame she could really pack a punch when her temper flew. Which as of the past month living here, was often. "Steve get it through your head! I am not taking advantage of Tony anymore. He may be your friend but he's not mine."

"Howard was." Steve put simply and crossed his arms thinking he won. Mila glared daggers at him causing him to drop his arms and drop his head down in defeat as he realized his mistake. "I'm sorry."

"Does he know?" Mila asked collecting her obnoxiously huge fountain drink that Sam picked up for her on the drive up here this morning. Mila had become addicted to them, something about all the caffeine made her focus more.

"No. I haven't told him. If I did…" Steve trailed off.

"He would kick me out of the compound and I would be thrown in jail." Mila forced a fake smile. "See Steve this is why Bucky and I were hiding from you. You think everyone is as forgiving as you but those were _his parents,_ Steve. He won't exactly welcome us with warm arms into the Avengers like you want." Steve ran a frustrated hand through his hair and then threw it back down to his side.

"What do you want me to do Mila? I just want to protect you guys. You're my friends. If we have to go haul up and live in Brooklyn in then so be it."

"And what about the Avenger's? Captain America just goes off and retires when the world needs him, so he can live with his friends in solitude?" Steve 's eyebrows perked up at the line.

"Well, I'm 98 years old. I think I qualify to retire." He gave a small smile and Mila sighed. This man knew her better than anyone beside Bucky. The pair of them were both plenty old and should be in a nursing home by now. The thought only brought her back to the fact that just two weeks ago she lost her good friend and Bucky's sister, Rebecca to lung failure and old age.

"I'm going to have a therapy session." She stated pulling her phone out of the pockets of her jeans.

"Do you need a lighter or one of my heavy bags for that?" Steve asked as her phone dinged with a new message alert. It was no secret that she would sneak out on top of the roof in the middle of the night and burn through half a pack of cigarettes when her night terrors were too much.

"Neither." She typed furiously on her phone. "I'm going to go kick Sam's ass around for a few hours." She spoke over her shoulder as she moved to her dresser and pulled out more comfortable and active clothes to wear. Steve rolled his eyes.

"That's not a fair fight." Steve said with a shake of his head. Mila shrugged her shoulders and threw her phone on her bed.

"He asked for it, so I am here to oblige." As she said it she pulled her shirt over her head and threw it on the floor revealing only her sports bra underneath and a map of scars on her skin. She could feel the embarrassment rolling of off Steve.

"Jesus Mila." Mila snickered and began to pull her jeans off too. She had to poke fun where she could. "Ok I'm gone. Bye." He walked out and closed the door behind him and leaned against the door with his eyes closed. He could see why Bucky had fallen for this dame so long ago. She was fearless, bold, exciting, and would embarrass Steve any time an opportunity popped up. He sighed wishing for nothing more right now than to have his two good friends back.

%%%%

"I don't know if I should be embarrassed _for_ you or just ashamed." Mila said pinning Sam down on the mat with his arms above his head and straddling his waist.

"Well you do have an unfair advantage." Sam quipped tapping the back of his hands against the mat. Mila released her hold.

"The bad guys will most of the time. You have to be ready." Mila stated walking across the practice mats to grab her big cup of Mountain Dew.

"I know, good thing I have one of the best of the baddest guys training me." Sam said walking up behind her patting her on the shoulder. She glared at him out of the corner of her eye and put her drink down.

"The best of the baddest guys?" One of the things she enjoyed about being around Sam is he didn't tiptoe around her past like Steve. Steve acted like she was a timebomb if he made too many references to the past she would explode and do something dangerous. His method of dealing with her emotional luggage was ignoring the past long enough so she would magically go back to being the friend he knew. Sam, had years of training as volunteer at the VA dealing with people much like Mila. They also met at a meeting for PTSD Vets and she was open from the get go about being broken with Sam. With Steve it was like she had to be strong.

"Yeah. Right next to that friend of yours, the Spring Chicken right?" Mila shoved Sam as he laughed. "Sorry I'm so bad with names."

"I'm sure bird brain." She stated bending over to grab some tape from the ground nearby to wrap her hands.

"Dude still owes me a new car." Mila paused.

"Can't remember his name but you remember that?" Her tone was full of disbelief. "Geesh." She wrapped her hands and moved over to the heavy bags on the other side of the gym.

"I remember the important stuff," He snaked his hands around her waist resting his chin on her shoulder. She hummed at his action. "like this." He whispered before moving his hands up and started rubbing her shoulders with his thumbs working her muscles like magic. She bit her lip and quickly spun around in his hold putting her hands on his shoulders.

"You know the rules." Mila said pushing him away. He put his hands up in defense knowing she was right.

"My bad. Let's go hit the bag, then we can hit the sack." He said with a wink. Mila pushed him in the shoulder urging him to get started on the first part.

"Your going to get us caught and Steve will never let me hear the end of that."

"I think I'll get the worst of it. Stealing his best friend's girl?" Sam said standing in front of the bag.

"Stealing implies something romantic, something serious. This is anything but that." She sized up the bag and delivered a few high kicks to the bag making it swing. Sam stepped away putting a safe distance between the woman and himself.

"As long as you still let me come over to play Call of Duty, I'm fine with whatever you call this." When Mila took a moment to catch her breath Sam grabbed the bag and poked his head around one side. "But I'm not thinking all those bonus features are why you wanted me down here. So what's bugging you?" Rather than answering him Mila took to punching the bag in a series of jabs and uppercuts causing Sam to feel some of her blows through the bag. He let go and again stepped away.

"I am _pissed_ ," She landed a hard blow on the bag causing it to swing away from her. "about this whole Rumlow thing and _pissed,"_ another blow as it swung back her way. "about my probation leaving me stuck here. And _pissed,"_ another hit to the bag. "I can't go back to find Bucky. And _pissed"_ another solid blow. "Steve thinks everything is a simple fix. And I can't do anything about any of it!" Her last hit made the bag fly off the mount and Sam had a mixed expression of impressed and afraid on his face.

"Let's go back to your room and talk. Go take a shower, get comfortable, and I'll bring the snack wagon over in thirty got it?" Mila saluted him and silently left. Sam smiled watching her leave before headed to the showers located in the gym. He made use of the locker room down here not wanting to walk down the halls of the compound all sweaty. He knew Mila preferred to be vulnerable in a more private place. He dried off and changed into a pair of clothes he could relax in. As he was on his way out smelling fresh and dressed in sweats Steve was just walking in to start training more with Wanda and her abilities. Even though his TV had well over 500 channels, watching Wanda drop Steve on his face or throw him into a wall was no doubt the most entertaining thing to watch in this compound.

"What's up man?" Sam asked holding his hand out for a high five. Steve gave him a high five but held his hand pulling him close to clap him on the back.

"Not much. Mila come blow off some steam?" Steve asked moving past Sam to reach his locker and change.

"Some. We're going to blow off more in her room." Steve paused and looked at his newest friend knowing damn well there was a double meaning to that phrase. That was on he heard back in his day. Sam rolled his eyes. "Not like _that._ You are such a dirty old man." Sam said punching Steve in the arm. Steve relaxed and shook his head.

"Yeah no. I just-"

"C'mon man. You know me better than that."

"I know. Sorry I didn't mean to imply you two were… fonduing." Sam rolled his eyes. Steve could still be so damn clueless.

%%%%%

When Sam came into Mila's room he dumped a bagful of chocolate bars, snack cakes, and any other unhealthy foods he could fit in the bag from the kitchen onto her bed. She smiled and dug into the stash.

"Thank you!" She said popping open a box of mike and ikes.

"Not a problem, so do you want to start with the talking or with the fun parts?" He wiggled his eyebrows and Mila threw a package of M and M's at him. He caught the package wondering how this answered his question.

"Fun." She said patting the spot on her bed beside her. Sam smirked and Mila took her shirt off wearing another sports bra and laid on her stomach. Sam crawled over the candy and made his way to straddle her and began rubbing her back starting at her shoulders and working his way down. Mila closed her eyes moaned as the man worked his magic. She wasn't sure how he got mixed in the armed forces when this was his true talent. Mila and Sam had an agreement that their friendship stayed intact, these massages and all their cuddling was not romantic. It was a way Sam helped Mila relax just enough to catch some sleep. Sam knew Mila had yet to sleep through the night while being here at the compound. That's why she was smoking on the rooftop, spending the nights running laps in the gym, or staying on the computer scanning as many websites as she could for traces of where to find Rumlow.

Steve was nearly blind to the signs of depression and anxiety she had. Her self-destructive behaviors probably webt unnoticed because Steve could be just as reckless. He also had only ever caught her a handful of times smoking on the roof. It made sense since his room was just under where Mila usually ended up pacing. In Steve's defense, Mila was very good at hiding how she was feeling. But Sam, he noticed the signs. They started out really small at first. Sam would hear when her door creaked open at various times in the evening because his room shared a wall with hers. He would also hear the shower running in the late evening and hear her crying. Sam knew better than to beat around the bush with her. Many talks at the VA had shown she would be open about things if you asked her directly. Something he was planning to put to the test.

"What's this one from?" He asked taking a moment to stop rubbing her back and tracing a finger on a scar that ran down her left side and wrapped around her hip. Every time they did this he asked about a new scar. It was a way for her to open up little by little.

"The backwards 'J'?"

"Yeah." Sam confirmed before he started rubbing her back again.

"November, 1963. Dallas Texas." She spoke slowly loving how relaxed she felt.

"Why does that sound familiar?"

"I got it running out of a warehouse after a sniper mission. I heard someone coming so I ducked against the wall not seeing the piece of metal sticking out of the wall. The police still think it was just me that did it."

"Did what?"

"Assassinated President Kennedy." Sam stopped rubbing.

"Wait, you shot JFK? I don't remember that coming up in your trial."

"They didn't ask. But I was more a distraction so that someone else could get a better kill shot."

"By someone you mean the Winter Soldier right?"

"Yeah. That grassy knoll theory… it's right." Mila said very aware how people were still trying to figure things out years after that mission.

"I don't believe this."

"Believe it Sam." She remarked turning her head just enough so Sam could see her smile.

"Well, if you are in the habit of assassinating president may I-"

"Sam!" He rubbed her shoulders harder hoping it would convince her.

"Just a suggestion."

"You know I don't do that anymore."

"But if you had to just one more time…" Mila rolled over causing Sam to be knocked off the bed as he was not expecting such a quick attack. He started laughing from his spot on the floor and Mila leaned over to look at the crazy friend of hers.

"I will get payback." He threatened.

"How? I beat you in every fight." She retorted. Sam shrugged his shoulders already having a plot in mind, but not wanting to give it away. He stood and Mila laid back down for Sam to continue his work. As he did so, his hands moved very slowly down from her back to her sides and began to tickle her making her squeal. "Sam! Stop it!" She pleaded through her laughter. He obeyed but only because he knew the woman would kick his ass later if he didn't. "Jerk move. Such an unfair advantage." She mumbled into the pillow.

" hey you have to be ready. Most of the time the bad guys will have that." He said quoting her earlier training lesson.

"Ha. Ha." She faked as she tried to relax. Sam moved back up to massage her neck making her hiss.

"Sorry my bad. I forgot."

"It's ok, but damn remember I got a heavy piece of equipment back there." She spoke of the device in her head like it was no big deal. Like she hadn't had a scar on her head reopened four times to mess with the device and reprogram her.

"I know. I'm sorry." He moved back to her shoulders and tried to avoid any part of her neck. He went on for ten minutes starting to work up a sweat again before hearing anything from her.

"Mmmm Buck." She whispered as she nodded off. Sam chuckled finding it funny she was thinking about him while Sam was the one actually rubbing her down. He knew this was just a way to help her relax and nothing romantic. They had made it very clear. Once he was satisfied with his work, knowing she was asleep he got up slowly. He picked up the candy and figured she would nap for about an hour before he could come back. In the meantime he would run into town and go grab them some fast food for lunch. He opened the door and as he did Steve was standing just outside ready to knock. Steve was only slightly surprised to see Sam there, but when he saw he was sweaty his brow rose with a question clear on his face. When Steve looked around Sam and saw Mila's half naked form on her bad asleep he began to freak out.

"Dude it's not what you are thinking." Sam whispered being mindful of the sleeping ex-assassin behind him. Steve's face was a mix of emotions but rage was clearly one of them. He had only seen something similar when the Captain was telling Fury he wasn't going to save any of the Helicarriers. He crossed his arms which only made him look more intimidating.

"You got 60 seconds."

* * *

 **AN: so uh leave me a review with your reactions. I assume they are similar to Steve's**


	3. Courage and Forgiveness

_"Mistakes are always forgivable, if one has the courage to admit them." - Bruce Lee_

 _"When you forgive, you in no way change the past - but you sure do change the future" - Bernard Meltzer_

* * *

"Look man, I'm all for having this conversation, but let's take it somewhere else. I am not going to wake her up." Sam spoke nodding over his shoulder to the sleeping form. Steve didn't respond he only moved across the hall to his own room and Sam followed. Steve made it to the center of his room and turned around not even giving Sam time to close the door before he began drilling him.

"You just told me thirty minutes ago that there was nothing between you two! I know everyone here thinks I am an idiot about intimacy but really Sam?"

"Well, you're an idiot about two things I guess." Sam deadpanned closing the door.

"Excuse me?"

"If you think that was us being 'intimate' you're wrong. You're an idiot if that's what you got from that. You're also an idiot because you can't see how bad your 'good friend'," Sam used air quotes to drive his point "is hurting physically, mentally, and emotionally." Steve walked up to Sam and squared up his shoulders.

"I know she's hurting! I've caught her on the roof smoking six times now."

"And that's all you've seen." Steve let his posture drop. He couldn't piece together anything else that was a sign of her mental state going to shit. "Did you notice she isn't taking any of the medicine the therapist prescribed? She isn't eating regularly? Or that she gets an hour of sleep at night? The rest of the night she is either smoking, crying in the shower, pushing herself too hard in the gym or writing letters to victims. She is punishing herself because she doesn't think the courts rightly did." Steve took a few steps back and sat on the edge of his bed.

"She told you all that?" He sounded betrayed as he looked up to Sam.

"She didn't have to," He moved closer to Steve. "she's like anyone of us. She will tell you everything if you listen. And I don't just mean actually talking."

"She avoids me Sam. We used to be a lot closer back in the war. We could talk about anything. When we lost Buck the first time on that train, we were there for each other. Now, we couldn't be further apart." Steve put his head down in his hands.

"You ever wonder why?" Steve shook his head no as Sam gave him a pat on the back.

"Because you knew her as a completely different person than who she is now. Trauma changes a person. I think she feels intimidated by you and that she may disappoint you."

"Why would she disappoint me? I want to help her-"

"Have you ever asked her about what happened when she was captured? Avoiding her problems doesn't help her. She sees that as if you are ashamed to face the fact she was under HYDRA's influence. It's evidence of that disappointment she's afraid of. That's why she is distant."

"She can't honestly think that?"

"People like her, anxiety, depression, all that; they don't think logically."

"How could I not see it."

"Because like I said earlier; you're an idiot." Steve look over to Sam with disbelief.

"You know what…" Sam smiled making Steve relax a little.

"Look I don't want to step on your toes and invade the friend spot you had, but I met Mila in a VA meeting. She didn't have to live up to some legacy with me. I've always known that she was broken but we worked past some things. We hung out and became friends built only on the fact that she was a hurting Veteran than needed someone."

"So what was that…session?" Steve waved a hand to the direction of the Mila's room.

"Just something to help her get some sleep and feel accepted and not like a threat. I know it seems like something more, but it's not. We talk about things, get her to go to sleep and not focus on the bad things for a little bit. I get her to eat some junk food, it's not healthy but at least she's eating. Figured getting her healthy stuff would make it too obvious."

"So nothing," Steve hesitated trying to find a different word before settling. "sexual between you two."

Sam chuckled and shook his head. "Nah man. I'm not stupid enough to steal the Winter Soldier's girl. Plus I don't see her like that." Steve bobbed his head and held his hand out to Sam who took it. Steve gave him a firm handshake.

"Thank you."

"For what?"

"For taking care of my friend when I couldn't."

"Just doing what I can. But I was going to get us some lunch if you want to join us after she wakes up."

"That sounds good." Steve said with a smile. The moment was cut short when they heard a scream from across the hall.

%%%

 _The Red Sentinel adjusted the police officer cap over her blonde wig one more time as she surveyed the staged accident before her. The glasses were a bit of an annoyance to deal with as she turned on the police car lights. She turned cars away sending them down a detoured route as they approached the scene. She was waiting for one car in particular. When she saw it start to drive up down the highway she made sure to send the current car down the same route. She approached the blue car and the driver rolled down his window. The Red Sentinel knew this was her target. Even without looking at all the HYDRA files, she knew this was Howard Stark, a man she would have called a friend decades ago prior to the device in her skull taking away all her emotions._

 _"What's the deal officer?" Stark asked paying more attention to the accident ahead of them than the woman he could have recognized if he looked at her long enough._

 _"Got an accident up there, probably two fatalities. I got to keep this road cleared for the ambulance and fire rescue to get here. But if you back out take a left and head down county road 300 it'll come out about six miles up this highway."_

 _"Thank you Officer." He said looking at her brown eyes. For just a moment she thought her cover would be blown and would need to call for the Winter Solider to take his bike over here and take out the targets. But he put the car in reverse and took her directions and from there he was playing right into Hydra's trap and the Winter Soldier would do his job. If not, the Red Sentinel was there to finish it._

 _"Vkhodyashchiye tseli soldata." (Incoming targets soldier) The Sentinel called into her earpiece._

 _"podtverdil." (Confirmed) Came the deep voice of the Winter Soldier. The Sentinel abandoned the fake crime scene to move throughout the woods. She had to make sure he finished this mission. It was too important to HYDRA to fail this mission. As she ran through the woods she came out not on the other country road but back in the Siberian Compound she was currently being held at. The Winter Soldier was strapped back in the chair and she was standing behind the railing watching as he screamed out in pain. The Colonel was reciting those damn words trying to get him to comply without needing the chair. Words the Colonel asked for the Sentinel's input on. What would have enough meaning to break him and remind him of his conditioning? But as she watched she wasn't the Sentinel anymore, no she was Mila and that was her Bucky strapped down. She tried to get to him but her body wouldn't move. She screamed out for him trying to stop the Colonel but it wasn't working._

 _"Mila?" Bucky called looking up at her. "Mila!"_

"Mila!" Steve's voice broke through her nightmare and she bolted awake nearly punching him in the jaw. Sam stood just behind Steve and looked highly concerned. Mila regained her breath and fell back on her pillows.

"Boys." She spoke evenly closing her eyes.

"Are you alright?" Steve asked sitting on the bed next to her hip. She nodded rubbing her face before sitting back up. After what Sam had told him he could see how rigid her posture was around him. Something he would do if he was next to an enemy.

"What's for lunch Sam?" Mila moved to get up on the other side of the bed and dig into the candy bag Sam left on her desk.

"Thinking about grabbing some Chinese food. Steve's joining us when I get back." Mila paused in her candy shuffling for only a moment but Steve noticed.

"Ok." Was all she said as she moved to leave the room. Steve called after her and she turned wondering what happened while she was asleep that was making him more aware of clear avoidance. "What Rogers?" She asked as Sam stepped around her going to leave the compound. He could have easily ordered and had them deliver, it was outside of the delivery area sure, but every business around killed to get to say they delivered food for the Avengers. More so, Sam wanted to give the two old friends some time to talk alone.

Mila shot Sam a death glare as he left but he just smiled and continued on his way. "I want to talk Mila." Sam closed the door behind him not giving Mila much choice in this matter.

"So talk. I haven't gotten any more hits with the algorithm and Rum-"

"Not about any of that." Mila licked her lips and looked at the ground bouncing slightly on the balls of her feet.

"Then what?"

"You." Her head snapped up.

"Me?"

"Yea. I don't think I've been the friend you needed lately. I've been too focused on looking ahead to catch Rumlow and get Bucky that I pushed your well-being off to the side. And for that, I'm very sorry Mila." Mila looked back at the floor and began rubbing the scarring around her wrists as a nervous habit.

"Steve you-"

"Don't make excuses for me, you know I am right." Steve stood up and walked towards her making her look up to him with saddened eyes. She already felt like shit, she didn't mean to make him feel bad too.

"Steve, I smother my emotions, it's a left-over habit from the device. I forget I have my emotions back sometimes when it gets overwhelming. Don't kick yourself for not noticing."

"But I should have." He grabbed her hands stopping her from her nervous tick. "I know you better than this. I should have seen how much you are hurting. Sam said you aren't taking your medicine?" Mila shrugged her shoulders.

"I don't feel the need to." Steve sighed and gave her a disapproving look.

"Take it from the guy who had to take about eight prescriptions a day, the medicine will help." Mila gave a small smile.

"That's not fair, they used to prescribe us whiskey and chloroform, I don't think that counts." Mila said remembering how much medicine had changed since they were children in the 20's and 30's.

"And I always felt better after that," Steve smiled making Mila let out a whisper of a laugh. "Besides, you wanted to be a doctor, am I right? You should know how important it is to take your medicine."

"Doctor's make the worst patients." Mila commented making Steve drop her hands.

"You are so stubborn."

"Thank you."

"You punk." He said hitting her in the arm lightly. She pretended to be in pain by rubbing the spot, but Steve only rolled his eyes.

"C'mon Mila, be honest with me. What's really going on in your head? And if you don't tell me, I will get Wanda." Mila knew his threat was empty. He would never really invade her privacy like that.

"Well I just had a nightmare about the night I helped kill the Starks, so that was fun." Mila pushed Steve over to her bed knowing this would get deep and just wanting to sit down before everything got there.

"You know the things you did, they aren't your fault."

"I know that Steve, I really do. It just seems like when I make a logical thought, my brain decides to throw it in the trash and replace it with something crazy."

"Like maybe I would be disappointed with you if I knew everything in your past?" Mila let out a deep breath and nodded her head. So, Sam had talked to him it seemed.

"Yeah. Exactly like that." She pulled her knees up to her chest and rested her chin on her knees.

"You know I would have done the same things you did if I were in your shoes. I could never be disappointed by actions you had no choice in. If anything, I'm proud of you." Mila rose a brow in confusion.

"Proud of me?"

"For going through it all and being so strong. Trying to move on and heal."

Mila laughed a bit at the compliment. "I hardly feel strong. I feel weak and like shit most days Steve."

"But you shouldn't. You have survived so much and continue to do so. You have friends that care about you. You have a safe place to live and don't have to worry about the past getting in the way now that the trials are over. You can attempt to have a normal life and we will find Bucky. I want more than anything for my two friends to get what they deserve, to be happy."

"Steve I appreciate the kind words but-"

"No buts. You two were a match made in heaven and seeing the pair of you together was a treat. I know you two will never be the same Corporal and Sargent that I knew, but I'm not the same Captain you knew."

"So introductions then?" Steve cocked his head to the side. "Well, you're the new Captain, I'm the New Corporal we're practically strangers. We should introduce ourselves."

Steve smirked holding out his hand. "Hello ma'am, Steve Rogers WWII Vet, Avenger, and dismantler of SHIELD and HYDRA." Mila shook his hand.

"Pleasure Mr. Rogers. I'm… Lyudmila Raden. WWII Vet, Ex-HYRDA assassin and the Winter Solider's Wrangler, ex-Black Widow's Ops trainer, and fiancé of Mr. James Buchanan Barnes."

"Sounds interesting, mind telling me about it?"

"Yeah, I can do that if you got the time."

"I got all day."

%%%%

Sam had brought in the Chinese food and mediated the discussion between the old friends and added his own point of view on some of Steve's stories. They had a lot to catch up on as they missed out on any opportunity when Mila had managed to make it back to the tower nearly a year ago when they were dealing with Ultron. The trio managed to have a civil talk without anyone freaking out too much. Steve respected Mila's boundaries and Sam would nudge him if Sam knew Steve was taking his questions too far at the moment and he would nudge Mila when she needed the courage to ask Steve something. It was nearly dinner time by the time they found a good stopping point. Mila left Steve off with her mission in Odessa right before Natasha would have saved her from the grasp of the Red Room. Steve had left Mila off with the Fall of SHIELD explaining how he had figured out Bucky was still alive.

Sam told the pair of them it was his night to cook and he better get started before the rest of the team got hangry. Steve went over to his own room giving Mila space that she wanted right now. Mila went to her desk and pulled out the stack of letters in unsealed envelopes. She shuffled through until she found one labeled Steve and Wanda. She fanned them in the air for a moment trying to figure out if she really wanted to do this. Pushing herself up from the desk she moved to the door and went out to the hall. She knocked on Steve's door and waited a moment before he opened it looking concerned.

"Mila are you ok?"

"This is for you." She said handing out his letter. Steve took it turning it over in his hand curious.

"What's this?"

"After the Court hearings and I had to relive a lot of crimes I wanted to forget, I got myself in the habit of writing letters to those who I hurt while under HYDRA's control as the Red Sentinel."

"But Mila you never hurt me while you were the Sentinel. I was under the ice."

Mila sighed. "I know, which means I hurt you on my own free will as your friend, which is worse." Steve dropped the envelope and wrapped Mila in a hug.

"I forgive you." Mila returned his hug feeling a weight lifted even though she had a 240lb man embracing her.

"I appreciate that." She mumbled into his chest as she hugged him back. He gave her one more comforting squeeze before letting her go.

"Ready to see what disaster Sam whipped up?" Mila shook her head declining with a smile.

"I have to go deliver this." Mila said waving Wanda's letter.

"Right. Sokovia coupe"

"Yeah. She needs an apology."

"You want some support?"

"Nah I got this." Mila said walking away. Steve leaned against his door way and watched her worrying how Wanda would react to the news.

%%%

Wanda covered her mouth with both hands and she finished the letter Mila gave her. Mila stayed near the closed door as she watched Wanda begin to cry.

"So the missiles…. Loosing my family…. It was all because of-"

"Me, yes." Mila said. Wanda looked at the woman in her room looking more hurt than she had ever seen. Wanda stood up and Mila tensed ready for the outburst of hostility from Wanda but instead of feeling pain when the red trendils hit her she went down to her hands and knees and felt the air getting heavier. She wasn't in Wanda's room anymore at the Compound. She was reliving a memory she assumed so Wanda could see what really happened.

 _There was always pain when she came out of Cryo-freeze. Ironically a burning and stinging pain as her nerves were coming alive after being on ice for so long. She was thrown into a chair that had no headrest. She was looking at a blank screen in front of her but could feel a pull at the nape of her neck where a radio syncing magnetic device was rewriting the programs in the internal device to make sure she knew her mission without having to cut her open. The screen came on and displayed blue prints of a munitions warehouse, military offices, access codes, and faces of figures who designated as either target kill on sight or ally. She was to lead a small team of HYDRA agents into the Sokovian military defense storage barracks and set off a set of twenty missiles. Some targeted at other countries and some needed to target civilian areas ok Sokovia itself. Looking the information flashing on the screen before her this mission would take place over one night and she had two hours to complete it._

 _She was released from the chair after her reprogramming and marched to a new location where she was geared up and met with the rest of her 'team'. They loaded her up on a jet and the infiltration mission began. She carried out the mission with success, killing innocent soldiers point blank without remorse and breaking into high end security systems, this was just part of the job. She moved to the control panels and picked the countries that she needed to target with the Sokovian marked Stark Industries missiles. Countries that were in the same ruined states as Sokovia and would cause more conflict between all the countries. She pressed the launch button and then recalibrated the next targets for civilian areas not but eight miles away from the base itself. The Red Sentinel hesitated for a brief moment her moral compass almost surfacing before she pressed the launch button again. After waiting to feel the building shake at the explosion she and her team left plunging Sokovia further into a failed state._

Mila snapped her eyes back open gasping for air as the anxiety set in. She looked up at Wanda who was kneeling down in front of her tears falling freely from her eyes.

"I spent years hating Tony Stark because I didn't know who else to blame."

"I'm sorry Wanda." Mila wasn't begging, she knew she deserved any consequence Wanda bestowed.

"But now that I know the truth of what happened, an innocent woman forced against her will to complete HYDRA's orders….. we are both lost so much."

"Not as much as you."

"Raymond," Mila thought of her brother-in-law's face before he went to fight Hydra and died in action protecting Bucky. "Eva," Her sister who died not to long after the Allied victory. "John," Her nephew she foolishly brought with her in the Red Room. The nephew she shot point blank without hesitation on the Red Room's orders. The Red Sentinel's first victim. "Bucky." Her hidden secret in the army, her teammate as both a Howling Commando and a boyfriend, her fiancé.

"It's not the same-"

"It is. Hydra corrupted us both with their agendas and hatred."

"How many people did they make you kill?"

"None."

"Well when there is blood on your hands Wanda, it changes things. Try having the 'we're the same' talk with me then." Mila said harsher than necessary.

"I think you should go now." Wanda said evenly, but Mila noticed the red mist at her fingers. Mila got up and opened the door but stopped in the doorway.

"I am sorry you lost so much because of me." With that Mila left to go to dinner.

* * *

 **AN: Let me know what you think in a review**


	4. She's My Friend

**AN: Thank you for your support. I am hoping to show Mila's slow growth more and expand on her relationships. Let me know what you are thinking in a review.**

* * *

 _Let me hear you say something..._

 _I'm sorry to get sentimental tonight_

 _It's just that everything reminds me_  
 _Of things I thought I shouldn't have to see again_  
 _See the thing is I'm so sorry to say_  
 _Someone still loves you_

* * *

"This is pointless." Mila stated ducking as Steve went to swing in and hit her. Mila shoved her own shoulder into his gut knocking him off balance. Steve wrapped his hands around her waist and lifted her up hoping to win this round but as she went upside down she wrapped her legs around his neck and pulled herself up and elbowed Steve in the head knocking him down and tumbling out of the fall.

"It is not." Steve panted laying on the ground for a moment to catch his breath. They had been sprawling for well over an hour now and Steve was not prepared for the challenge.

"Steve, I am not going back in the field nor am I being hunted by either side of the law. Training isn't necessary. I am safe right here."

"You aren't going to stay hold up in here for the next two years, are you?"

"Well I didn't think the Avengers had an opening." Mila held her hand out for Steve to take so he could get up.

He grabbed her hand as she pulled him up. "We could always use another good solider." He gave her a pat on the back.

"Yeah, the rest of the world doesn't see me like that." Mila smiled and moved to her corner of the mat and Steve sighed.

"Believe it or not, the press isn't that friendly to me either." Steve tried to convince her to get on his side. Mila placed a hand on her chest and put on a fake look of shock.

"The Star Spangled Man, our noble and honest Captain America, Steven Grant Rogers is a bad boy? Someone needs to let the chorus girls know we have to rewrite the song." Steve rolled his eyes and shook his head at her joke.

"Just as long as I don't have to wear the tights again." Mila raised her eyebrows.

"Bucky said you liked the tights. I bet the women of America would like the tights too." Mila wiggled her eyebrows and Steve groaned rolling his head back.

"Alright," He put his hands up. "We can stop the practice if you agree to never bring up the tights again." Mila suppressed her smile.

"Good, because I'm getting tired of kicking your ass." Steve gave her a look of disbelief.

"Is that what this was?" She shrugged and smirked at him.

"What else would you call it?" Mila walked over to him and squared him up. "Anyone ever teach you Aikido?"

"Is that like the Pilates thing Stark tried-"

"No, it's a martial art. Very good for defense. Which Mr. Fight Me!, is something you should work on more. I'll teach you if you want." Steve didn't hesitate, he was happy his friend wanted to spend more time with him.

"Yeah!" Mila felt herself swell up with pride that she had the opportunity to teach Captain America something. Granted, the Red Room taught it to her first, she was more determined in making sure every skill that she learned could be used for good after having more open talks with both Sam and Steve, given that Natasha had been trying to chase physical leads on Rumlow for the team in Africa that paired from the algorithm Mila was running.

Mila began by teaching him the basic moves by throwing him a pole from an equipment storage room and got him familiar with the movements before he worked to some basic blocks and redirecting moves. Nothing to advance, but he was putting too much force into the move.

"Steve the point is to deflect, redirect, and not injure me." Mila chided on more than one occasion when she knew there would be a bruise. That didn't stop her from continuing to teach him with more maneuvers.

"Damn!" Mila groaned from the mat. Steve was really picking up on the techniques she was teaching him, but he was still putting too much force into his moves. She tried explaining that Aikido was about minimal or no injury to the opponent but he just wasn't getting it.

"Sorry," he held out his hand for her helping her up. "Guess it's almost like payback right?" Mila glared.

"You know, Natasha didn't have as many problems when I taught her." Mila stood and stretched intentionally popping her back. "I guess I've become a bad teacher."

Steve shook his head. "No I'm a bad student, Bucky would try to teach me how to box in high school, I ended up hurting myself more than anything else." Mila rolled her eyes.

"Why am I not surprised?"

"Because you know me too well," Steve clapped her on the shoulder and started moving her to the edge of the mats. "Let's go meet up with everyone for lunch." Mila tensed and if it wasn't for Steve's contact it would have been unnoticed. "What's wrong?"

"I've been avoiding Wanda for four days, we had an argument."

"So, talk it out. We are a team here. Get past it."

"Steve, I yelled at her when she was trying to console me. I made it seem like it was a bad thing that she hasn't killed anyone. Like how messed up am I in the head to have said that?" Steve gave her a reassuring smile.

"She will forgive you. She's a kid, she has high emotions. But she has a really caring heart. You know that as well as I do." Mila looked at her friend confused.

"She may have told me what she did while you were locked up in Strukers castle and she was practicing with your mind." Mila's shoulders dropped.

"She told you about my Thanksgiving dinner vision?" Steve let out a small laugh.

"No she showed me it. It was sweet, until I watched you and Bucky sucking face." Mila scoffed and bumped her hip into him knocking him a few inches away laughing.

"Shut up Rogers." She was blushing and wished her hair was down to hide that from her friend.

"Bucky woulda loved a life like that." Mila smiled up at him.

"I know." She whispered walking ahead of him to go to the commons. Steve sighed as he watched her leave and crossed his arms knowing he crossed another line. He wanted to remember Bucky and finally had someone else to do that with, but she was hell bent on keeping him an intimate memory to herself. Couldn't they agree that Bucky needed to be remembered?

Steve knew this was a conversation to have with her later as he followed in her footsteps and went to the Common area. She was already sitting next to Sam at the bar a full plate of food already in front of her that matched Sam's. Steve hesitated as he watched the easy friendship between the pair. He was happy that they got along, but at the same time envious that Sam had an approach where he could just stride with her not walk on eggshells like Steve still felt like he was doing. He joined the pair nodding at the two who had their mouths full. He grabbed a sandwich from the center tray and pulled the bag of chips away from Mila to get some of his own. Before Steve could start his conversation, Wanda walked in and stood by the countertop looking at the trio before her. Steve and Sam looked at each other Mila in-between them. Mila was focused on the girl in front of her.

"What's goin' on Maximoff?" Sam asked in a way of a greeting but also not liking how suspicious she looked.

"I want to talk to you, alone." Wanda said never acknowledging Sam keeping her focus on Mila. Mila put down her sandwich and walked over to the small conference room off to the side of the commons. Steve and Sam both turned in their bar stools to follow the two women as they walked off.

"If they fight, I'll place ten on Mila." Sam said once the door closed.

"Wanda would win easy. Twenty." Steve held his hand out and Sam shook it once firmly and then let go. "But if they really fight, we gotta intervene." Steve added concerned for both women. As they continued to watch the girls talk he noticed Mila look over Wanda's shoulder and glare. Wanda turned around as well and both women in sync flipped the boys off in their own cultural way. Mila threw up her middle finger and Wanda threw up a fist with her thumb between her index and middle finger. The boys turned around heads hung almost in shame.

"They're teaming up on us." Sam said.

"We don't stand a chance." Steve said taking a bite out of his sandwich while Sam nodded his head in agreement.

"Think we could get Vision on our side?" Sam asked. As he did the android appeared on their level from the floor above them.

"Where is Miss. Raden? She was not in her room. I have information to report to her."

"Well, she's with Wanda. You'll have to take that risk of interrupting them." Sam said nodding behind them.

"So she took my advice." Vision stated simply.

"What advice?" Steve put the sandwich down.

"Wanda had informed me about the disagreement between herself and Miss. Raden. I offered to Wanda that with Miss. Raden's fragile mental state, she had been pushing away those who want to help. An unintentional move on her behalf. I reminded Wanda that Miss. Raden used to have a younger sister and reminded Wanda of her own older sibling. I relayed how sibling relationships work and told Wanda that she should seek to mend the relationship. Miss. Raden obviously holds in her feelings and would wrongly assume Wanda would hold a grudge. I advised Wanda to make the first move in the repairing process." Sam's eye brows rose impressed that this android seemed to really understand human feelings and emotions. Steve pursed his lips as well amazed that Vision came up with a great solution.

"Well, have some lunch Vision," Sam said pushing the tray his way. "You made it might as well eat some." Vision put his hand up declining.

"My digestive system is synthetic, I do not require sustenance."

"You don't eat? Damn you are a weird dude." Sam said never really spending a lot of time around the android. Now that he thought about it, he couldn't remember Vision ever eating with them even after he would cook meals for them.

"So the message for Mila? Anything to do with the Rumlow case?"

"No she had a package delivered to the compound this afternoon. I put it in her room." Steve stood up from the bar stool smiling.

"Can we go get it?" Steve asked while Vision nodded and the pair walked down the hallway. Sam just shook his head and continued to eat. As he was finishing the girls came out of the room behind Sam smiling. He looked at them over his shoulder and gave them a big nod.

"You girls play nice and make up?" He joked. Mila rolled her eyes and Wanda smirked.

"We figured we could put differences aside, since we have so little." Wanda began as Mila threw an arm around her shoulders.

"Definitely have more in common than anything. And we kinda miss having someone around to torment like a sibling." Mila smiled at Wanda and she returned it before Mila looked at the empty stool at the bar with Steve's plate not empty. "Where'd he go?"

"Him and Vision went to go get a package you got in the mail today."

"Why did I get a package?" Mila asked completely confused. "All my friends are dead or live with me." Sam scoffed.

"People don't send- You know what never mind. You are too old school sometimes." Sam sighed as Steve and Vison came back. Steve was holding a FedEx box with a grin on his face. Mila now grew even more concerned. Steve obviously set her up here.

"What's in the box?" Mila asked evenly as Steve stood in front of her.

He handed it to her. "See for yourself." Mila sighed and ripped through the tape easily and saw it was a brown paper wrapped book of some sorts. She set the box on the island bar and unwrapped the book. Wanda and Sam were moving their heads so that they could see what exactly the package contained.

"I don't…" Mila whispered as she ran her hand over the cover. She instantly flipped open the book to the table of contents and put a hand over her mouth. "No. How did…. Why would they…" She looked up at Steve and saw his smile. She closed the space between them and wrapped her arms around his neck. "Thank you, Rogers." She said as he chuckled.

"You earned your spot beside us and you know it." He said wrapping his arms around her squeezing her once before they let go. Sam and Wanda looked at each other still confused.

"What's going on?" Sam asked. Mila turned around a huge smile on her face and handed the book to Sam. It was titled _Earned Their Stripes: The Complete History of the Howling Commandos._ The cover image had a picture of the Howling Commandos standing on the back of a cargo plane as Peggy Carter and Mila were standing by the runway hydraulic poles. Stark was up with the Commandos smiling like an idiot with an arm around Steve and Bucky while everyone else was trying to be serious. Sam opened the book and saw there was a chapter dedicated to various working parts of the team but also one for each member. Mila's was titled: _Chapter 8: The Woman With A Plan; Beatrice Raden._

Mila remembered taking the photo on the cover. She was sure the rest of the book would stir up other memories she tried to hide from the world when she worked in the Smithsonian on Steve's exhibit nearly three years ago.

 _"Would you stop that." Betty chided shooing Bucky's hand away from his hair. He blew out a dramatic breath and looked up to the sky._

 _"If we're doing a press shot, I gotta look good." Betty placed her hands on his chest and looked into his mischievous blue eyes. He smirked down at her, the same one that made dames fall for him in Brooklyn, the one that was all hers. "I mean, have you seen the competition?" Bucky stated. She glanced at Steve in his Captain America uniform and saw he didn't look any different than usual. Bucky put a finger under her chin and turned her head back his direction. "I meant you doll." Betty smiled before Bucky captured her mouth with a firm kiss. Betty grabbed at his dark blue jacket a little harder as his hands wrapped around her waist holding her close._

 _"Ah god, stop it you two. Steve here is a virgin he's not allowed to see that stuff." Dugan stated making the pair pull apart. Bucky put his forehead against hers and the pair stayed like that._

 _"You know the helmet wasn't the only thing I got from the USO girls right?" Steve argued trying to boost up his reputation. Bucky rolled his eyes and pulled away from Betty to interject on his friend's claim._

 _"You told me that blondie kissed you and you had to beak it off because you about barfed on her you were so nervous." Betty and the rest of the boys began laughing as Steve put up a finger trying to tell his side of the story but Bucky just stood there smug as hell. Peggy walked up to the group with Howard at her side and the photographer behind them._

 _"What'd I miss?" Stark asked looking at the group for an explanation._

 _"Nothing you didn't already know." Gabe said clapping him on the back as he joined the group._

 _"Peggy, we need to find a better way to keep these boys in line." Betty said walking over to her only other female cohort in the bunch._

 _She sighed and put her hands on her hips as the boys continued heckling each other. "I don't think we're allowed to hog tie them and throw them in a trench, unfortunately." Betty chuckled and looked at the boys shaking her head._

 _"I can think of other things I could do to one to keep him under control." Betty offered. Peggy put her head down._

 _"Let's get this photo done. You said they have a mission, right?" The photographer stated setting up his camera. Peggy confirmed while Betty moved the boys around swatting their hands away when they tried to do dumb things to their neighbors._

 _"C'mon boys. One good photo then ya'll can screw around." Betty yelled._

 _"Was that an open invitation," Monty asked. "Because I'm not sure your beau is going to share."_

 _"Yeah sorry boys, she's mine. Even if she's a Giants fan, I will fight every one of you sons a'bitches for her."_

 _"Oh the chivalry." Betty feigned a swoon but before Bucky could shoot back a comment the photographer yelled to get their attention. The group straightened up and stood still. The blinding flash indicated they were done and Bucky walked up to Betty and set his jaw pretending to be upset._

 _"You aren't impressed by my kind gesture?" He asked raising a brow._

 _"I'll be impressed if you actually follow my plan to a tee." She stated as she flattened out his collar. He gently grabbed her hands and kissed her fingertips._

 _"I promise I'll come back in one-piece sweetheart."_

 _"You better." She pulled her hands out of his grip and placed them on the sides of his face and pulled him down to kiss her before he left for his mission. He deepened the kiss, always afraid it would be his last. A bright flash caught their attention, even with their eyes closed, and they pulled apart looking at the photographer but found him talking with Peggy. Steve was behind the camera and smiling like a mad man at the pair._

 _"You guys are just so cute, I couldn't help myself." Steve offered._

Mila took the book back from Sam and flipped through the pages pausing a millisecond to look at the photos in the book wondering if Steve's candid photo made it in the publication. She found it the last page of her own chapter. She smiled at the image as she turned the open pages to Steve.

"How exactly did this get in there?"

"I have my ways." Steve said with a smirk.

"Why am I even in this?" She asked shaking the book in the air.

"I was being interviewed for the book, and I made some suggestions." Mila bobbed her head in amusement. While Steve was never good at keeping a surprise a secret, she had to admit, she didn't see this one coming. She walked out of the common area and back to her room. She had some reading to do.

That night Sam awoke in the middle of the night to Mila's loud laughing. Sam laid awake for a moment making sure everything sounded ok from his neighbor and went back to sleep. When morning came Sam walked into the hall and saw Mila waiting outside of Steve's door the book in her hand. Steve opened his door and looked at his friend still half asleep. She was smiling and held the book up. Sam leaned in his own doorway wanting to witness this exchange.

"I finished it." Mila stated. Steve look startled and rubbed his face some more not believing her at all.

"And?"

"Well, I would like to have a book club meeting with you about it later, but I had a more pressing issue with the book."

"Which is…?"

"It made me remember things and see things from a different perspective," she licked her lips and looked to the ground. "I want back in, but not in the field." Seeming to gain confidence she looked back at Steve. "I want to be Captain America's strategist again." Steve smirked and nodded his head.

"I think I need a resume first. Tell me about your prior experiences." Mila shoved him and he laughed at her before grabbing her hand. "You're hired."

* * *

 **AN: Please, please, please review. I love your feedback.**


	5. Trying to Adjust

**IMPORTANT AN: dialogue enclosed in dashes is spoken in Romanian. I felt it would take from the flow if you had to keep rereading the text.**

 **Shoutout to BuckyBarnes07 and infinateconstellations for their reviews and support**

* * *

"We are made wise not by the recollection of our past, but by the responsibility for our future."

-George Bernard Shaw

* * *

 _Bucky opened the door to the apartment and stopped in the doorway. He was not expecting Betty to be standing there in the kitchen with her dress greens on going through his fridge. He took one step forward and Betty turned around looking highly disappointed._

 _"Really Barnes?" She closed the fridge and took a step towards him._

 _"Betty?" He whispered not sure why she would be standing there._

 _"I leave for five minutes and you throw my advice out the window?" She crossed her arms and Bucky began shaking his head as he approached her grabbing her by the elbows._

 _"Why are you here?"_

 _"Do you want me to leave?" She countered puling on his shirt collar._

 _"No." His quick response came out as a plea while he moved his hands to grab her hips. She smiled, her bright teeth making her red lipstain pop even more._

 _"You sure? Better convince me to stay then Barnes." He crashed his lips onto hers and held her as tight as he could. When he pulled back she was no longer wearing her army greens but instead a wedding dress from the 40's and her hair was pinned up with her veil. Bucky looked around and he wasn't in the apartment in Romania but instead the church his dad would take the family to on Sundays in Brooklyn. He looked at the preacher, it was still the same old man he would listen too when he was just a teen sinning all over Brooklyn with Steve. He felt someone grab his shoulder. He jumped and turned his head finding Steve dressed in a suit and tie._

 _"Congrats Buck, she's beautiful." Steve whispered. Bucky smiled and turned back to his bride._

 _"I now present to you Mr. and Mrs. James Barnes." The church clapped and Betty laced her fingers in with his._

 _"Are you ready Mr. Barnes?" She asked. Bucky tried to speak but no words came out._

 _"Are you ready for the procedure Mr. Barnes?" Came a voice from behind him. Bucky turned and he was strapped down to a table._

 _"Don't move, it'll only make it worse." Zola. That was definitely Zola's voice. Bucky screamed as he felt the surgeons cutting away at his arm. He wasn't expecting one of his surgeons to have the same dark brown eyes as his wife. She pulled the mask off and pushed his hair out of his face._

 _"Shh, baby. You have to stay calm." Bucky's face crumpled realizing she was working with the enemy._

 _"No, I'm not losing you to them again!" He yelled as the saw kept buzzing. He screamed out again and Betty just kissed his forehead._

 _"You'll never lose me Barnes. Just as long as you keep your promise." Bucky looked at her afraid of the procedure and what was going to happen next. He shut his eyes wanting this nightmare to go away. When he opened them again he was in the Red Room with Betty's frame clearly standing in front of him. She was wearing a uniform similar to him, black tactical pants with a belt where various guns could be holstered. A black double breasted jacket that came up to her neck, but she was wearing a hood that kept her face dark._

 _"Betty?" She pulled the hood down and saw how emotionless she looked._

 _"That's not my name." Quicker than he could register her actions, she had pulled a knife from behind her back and held it up to his throat. He grabbed her wrist and the two began to fight._

 _"Betty, this isn't you. I know you are in there and you remember us." He said while he dodged her attacks._

 _"Zhelaniye" Bucky stopped and began to beg._

 _"Don't do this."_

 _"Rzhavyy." Bucky went to his knees and put his hands over his ears trying to block her out._

 _"Semnadtsat. Rassvet." Bucky could still hear her as she circled him like a wild animal cornering its prey._

 _"Stop, Betty please." His brain felt like it was on fire._

 _"Pech'. Devyat. Dobroserdechnyy." Bucky screamed as it felt like his head was being split apart. "Vozvrashcheniye na rodinu. Odin. Gruzovoy vagon….. Soldat?" She asked kneeling in front of him. He looked up at her glaring at his handler._

 _"Ya gotov otvechat." He stated as she smirked._

 _"Good, your next mission is simple. Clean. Up. Your. Act. Barnes!" The Red Sentinel yelled at him. He looked confused and then he was again back in the apartment in Romania. "This place is a dump! You haven't been eating right! You do laundry once a month! And look at you? When did you last shower?" Bucky looked down at himself trying to catch the details of this mission._

 _"This is not like you Buck." She placed a hand on his stubbled cheek. "You are better than this. Give me three more months and I promise I will come back to you." She kissed him on his forehead. "Is this really what you want me to see when I get back?" She faded away into the black as Bucky felt himself waking up._

He opened his eyes in the dark apartment and saw the clock he kept on the floor by the bed read 4:15 am. He rubbed his face trying to clear his head from the fucked up dream, or was it a nightmare, he had. He knew he needed to get ready for work but as he looked around the apartment all the words Mila said were ringing true. He needed to clean up the place and himself. He sat up and grabbed a shirt from a pile of clothes on the floor. Laundry. That would be first on his to-do list when he got back home. As he continued to get ready with more effort than he had in the past few weeks, he made a mental note of things to do around the apartment. He didn't realize how much Mila made this place a home and not just a safe house.

He left the apartment locking the door silently as he made his way down all eighteen flights of stairs. Walking to the mechanic shop he would run into few people as he took a long way to work that he had switched up every other day. He had always been paranoid that someone would tail him, the routes he walked made it so he could easily confuse anyone following him. He stopped at a corner coffee shop and ordered a black coffee to have for breakfast.

Just as he walked into the shop through one of the garage doors he was tackled by two men making him drop his coffee. He instantly slipped out of their loose grip making them men tumble over and bump into each other.

"-ow James. You asshole.-" Came the voice of Adrian the youngest mechanic in the shop.

"-Seriously man, you just jump into kill mode or something?-" Marius, a mechanic about Bucky's build and height but bald added. Bucky relaxed once he saw it was only his co-workers pranking him and not an actually threat.

"-Sorry guys. You got to let me finish my coffee before you do shit like that.-" Bucky stated picking up his cup off the shop floor.

"-Well we will forgive you, but we are going to kidnap you.-" Adrian said walking with Bucky to the trash can.

Bucky laughed a bit. He worked with these men for a year now and knew that there was no way they could accomplish such a feat. Hell, not even if they got all the boys in the shop together could they kidnap him. "-good luck.-"

Marius elbowed Adrian and gave him a fatherly look before looking back at Bucky, well James Lupei was the name he went by to these guys. "-James, some of the guys are going out to Old Town and stop by Bar Harley for some drinks while Adrian's cousin plays. You should come since you've been a depressed bum the past couple months.-" Bucky opened his moth already trying to protest the social outing.

"-Don't argue James, you need to g out and get laid. I already have a betting pool going that you can't get a girl's number tonight.-" Adrian added getting twin looks of disbelief from the older mechanics in front of him.

"-Adrian, you are a strange child.-" Bucky put a comforting hand on his shoulder as he walked over to the office to get the work list for the day.

"-I will pay for your first drink. Just come out and spend some time with the guys. We're all kind of worried about you. You aren't the same guy since your girl left you for that Russian.-" Adrian begged.

Bucky sighed. He was planning to spend the night in solitude again and clean up the apartment. What would happen if Mila came back tonight? Would she think he left? No. He still had all his stuff in there she was smarter than that. And she would surely want him to go out an enjoy a night out right? He tossed the idea around for a bit before the deciding factor hit him. He needed to pretend to be normal. Hanging out with the guys from work was something the old Bucky would have done without second thought.

"-Count me in.-" He said causing the guys to cheer. "-But I'm only staying for two drinks. I told Alexi I would pick up his shift tomorrow morning.-"

%%%%

Two drinks turned to six pretty quick. The loud rock music was music Bucky had never heard of before, but he had to admit he liked it. The work group contained Bucky, Adrian, Marius and his girl, Emanual or 'Manny', and Gavril. It was fun to do nothing but bullshit with the guys. Adrian had been trying to get a girl all night in between conversations as he noticed them and the betting pool against Bucky changed to one against Adrian.

"-You should just give up and go home.-" Bucky said after a blonde who had her back to the group had turned him away.

"-No she wanted me to send you over there James.-" Adrian said defeated before taking a long swing from his beer. Bucky went rigid, he didn't want to get involved with women. He had a girl, who was hopefully coming back for him in the next three months.

Bucky shook his head. "-Can't see her face, and blondes aren't really my type.-"

"-I'll pay you 10 leu to go talk to her.-" Gavril said slamming down the Romanian bill. Bucky grabbed it and waved it in the air.

"-Or I use it to go buy some more beer.-" He stated getting up to go to the bar but Manny grabbed his right arm and held him down.

"-Man, what was so special about that girl that you are still hung up on her?-" Manny asked. Bucky could come up with a list of a hundred things without really thinking too hard.

"-Everything.-" Bucky stated sitting back down. Gavril shook his head and left the group. Bucky watched as he moved across the bar and to the woman and her group of friends. Bucky moved again to try and stop him but he was too late. She turned around and was smiling at him. If he was back in his bachelor days in Brooklyn he knew he would have taken this opportunity but now…. He didn't even like getting to close with these guys. She was beautiful and looked to be like a lively young lady in her twenties. "-Fuck-"

"-Should probably buy her a drink before you get to that base Romeo.-" Marius' girlfriend stated. The new girl walked up to the group with a lot of confidence and Bucky didn't need his years of training in the Red Room to see this girl's intent was to find a guy to take home with her tonight.

"-Hey, handsome. I'm not here for a long time, just a good time. Do you speak English?-" Bucky looked to the group trying to figure out if normal Romanians learned English.

"A little bit." Bucky said

"Thank god!" She said seeming to relax. She nodded behind her to the group of friends she left. "My friends and I are here on a study abroad from Purdue University. I just cannot get a good grasp on this language."

"They say English is the hardest language to learn." Bucky replied.

"You seem to have a pretty good grip on it." Shit. He tried to think of a logical explanation.

"My girl dumped me and I needed a hobby." God that was shitty as hell.

The girl perked up at the tidbit of information that Bucky revealed. "Oh really? Would the boys mind if I take you away to get you interested in some other hobbies?" Bucky looked at the group and the boys were all making different gestures to push him and give him permission to leave. The guys may not have understood English well but they understood with enough body language what was happening.

"I guess they don't mind." Bucky said with a nervous laugh as he got up to leave his group of co-workers.

"I'm Lindsey by the way." She held out her left hand and Bucky looked at it. If he shook her hand he would have to use the metal appendage to do so. She pulled it back real quick as if she had been shocked. "I'm sorry do you not greet that way? I thought they told me that at-"

"No. You are fine," Bucky looked at his group of friends who were still looking at him. "It's just I am still hung up on the last one. I'm not ready for this." He turned and grabbed the lue that Gavril had tried to bribe him with earlier. "Take this and go get a drink. I need to head home." He walked away from the girl and his friends wanting to be alone. The whole hour walk home he kept thinking back to his days in Brooklyn with Steve. He would have taken a girl like that out dancing and asked if she had a friend for Steve. He knew that's how he used to be.

 _"She was just some dumb blonde Stevie, don't beat yourself up." Bucky said throwing an arm over his shoulder as they walked back from a failed double date. Bucky had tried to go out with a couple of dames he met the night before at a bar. He talked Steve up to the blonde and she had been tolerating him at best during the date. Bucky had cut it short after an hour and decided to take Steve out for dinner and their favorite diner down the street from their apartment._

 _"Yeah, yeah Buck. I'm hopeless. Can we settle on that?" He asked._

 _"Nah, one day a girl will see the heart that I do."_

 _"Probably the same day you decide to settle down." The pair laughed as they walked into the diner._

 _"The usual boys?" The old grey haired waitress asked as they took their spots at the stools at the counter._

 _"Yeah, but throw in a couple of slices of apple pie." Bucky added._

 _"Got to celebrate our Friday night some how right?" Steve stated._

%%%%%%%%

"FRIDAY, get Steve in here ASAP." Mila said from her desk in her room. She set down a mug of coffee that had been helping her focus.

"Yes, Miss Raden." The AI's voice spoke. Mila reclined looking over the information on her laptop screen for what felt like the hundredth time in the past five minutes. She finished off her coffee as Steve knocked at the door.

"Mila?"

"It's open." She called back. He walked in looking disheveled, his hair was wet and he was dressed in sweats.

"What's up?" He asked moving beside her. She looked at him and could smell something almost cologne like coming off of him.

"Did you just get out of the shower?"

"Well I was halfway through, FRIDAY said it was urgent, so I would like to finish that." Mila rolled her eyes and was about to open her mouth with a quirky response before she remembered she was not talking to Bucky.

"Yes. I got a hit for a deposit." Mila pointed to the screen. "It's a small amount-"

"75,000 is a small amount?"

Mila gave Steve a pointed glare before she continued. "It is a small amount when you are talking about deals of this caliber. It's a interest deposit so to say. The goon who wants a job done puts a little into the account to let the man who does the dirty work know he is serious." Mila scrolled down the screen. "It took the program a while to trace it back to the original account but it looks like the man who wants Rumlow is from Iraq. Rumlow's account sent the confirmation to a device in Nigeria. His device has been bouncing off the satellites and cell towers there for the past three days."

"So we need to go to Nigeria?" Mila nodded.

"I tried to find accounts on the dark web yellow pages that linked to his new employer-"

"That's not what it's called is it?"

"No I made it up. Anyway there are a lot of accounts in the Iraqi region the employer originated from so I can't figure out what exactly Rumlow may be targeting in Nigeria. I've been tracking his account and found no activity but three days ago I did find some ads pop up that can either be interrupted as needing a team or needing artillery. It's been a while since I've had to place and decipher these codes from Hydra but I'll work on it." Steve clapped her on the back and got up.

"Good work Mila. Let's get this sent to Natasha and I'll get the team together. We can start setting up for a mission to stop him before this gets ugly."

"I'd say you have a four day window before he gets what he needs and attacks. You need to assemble very fast." Mila stated.

"You ready to get an attack plan together?" Steve moved opening the door and standing in the doorway.

"I'm always ready." She unplugged her laptop and gathered some papers from the connections and research she was working on. She moved to follow Steve out the door.

"FRIDAY, round up the team. Tell them to be in the conference room in 5 minutes." Steve stated walking into him room. Mila kept moving down the hall where Vision appeared out of no where making her jump.

"You got to stop doing this." Mila shook her head as Vision kept pace with her.

"My apologies Miss. Raden-"

"Vision, I've told you before to call me Mila."

"Right. Mila I apologize again. May I ask why we are gathering?"

"I have a hit on Rumlow, but I think we may need to lay as low as possible on this until we are certain about his location. I don't want him to run." Mila spoke as she opened the doors to the conference room.

"Shall I stay at the compound with you?" Mila looked at the maroon skinned man. She knew he would definitely stick out and alert anyone, Rumlow or other badies, in the area that the Avengers were near.

"I think that would be ideal. Besides, I don't think the World Court will allow me to be left at the compound alone." Mila opened her laptop back up and tried to remember how to set this up to the projector. She knew it could be done, but modern technology was something, at best, she could figure out. The tech in the compound was more advance than the average civilian devices. Vision stepped beside her an handed her the two cables she needed. "Thanks." She continued to work as Sam, Wanda, and Steve joined them.

"Vision can you get us in contact with Natasha?" Steve asked sitting at the end of the table. The two shared a glance and they could imagine for just one moment it was like old times.

 _Betty stood before the Howling Commandos her fiancé sitting next to Steve who was at the end of the table. Everyone's attention was on her as she reviewed the intel she had received a few hour ago._

 _"The train runs through this mountain, it's going to be difficult to get on the train."_

 _"But it is possible." Colonel Phillips stated more than questioned. Betty looked down to him eyes wide, annoyed he was interrupting her again. Even though he trusted her to make the plans he still had a hard time handing the reigns over to someone else, especially a woman. Betty's only saving grace was her father and the Colonel had been great friends during the Great War._

 _"Yes. Can I get to that part?" She pointed to the maps behind her and she could hear some of the snickers of the Commandos as she scolded a superior officer. Between Betty and Peggy, the Howling Commandos couldn't figure out who challenged Phillips more daily. "So as I was saying; Right here" Betty put her left hand up to the map to show them where she was talking about. She paused for a moment not used to seeing the ring on her finger. "if we can get in before this snow storm hits we can assemble a zip line. Time it right and you can get the whole team on the train. Time it wrong and you miss the train."_

 _"And we die." Monty added._

 _Betty sighed. "That is a possibility. But you are my boys, and you may be dumb, but you aren't-"_

 _"dumb enough to die." The boys finished with her. It was the running joke when they were in the pubs celebrating their successful missions to poke fun at Betty's slogan._

 _"Yeah exactly." She laughed. She looked at Bucky smiling like an idiot at her. "But let's put a special priority on that one," Betty pointed at Bucky making the men look at him. "this one is dumb enough to marry me so we gotta keep a careful eye on him." Betty earned a round of laughter from everyone but Bucky who rolled her head back not the least bit surprised at Betty's comment. He looked back at her and mouthed 'I love you.' Making her blush and return to the plan ahead of them before they began embarrassing themselves in front of everyone._

That was the last time Mila had given any orders for a mission. She was too busy hating herself after that, knowing that Bucky's death was on her hands. She could have planned that mission better, but because of her mistake, he had 'died' and been captured by HYDRA. He became the Winter Solider. Years of torture for the pair of them in the Red Room and going on countless missions as mindless Assassins because Mila couldn't plan for everything during that last mission.

"Mila, what's up?" Sam asked making her snap her head over to him. He had seen that look on her face, and thousands of other veterans. Mila wanted to answer but her head was racing through millions of thoughts, mostly negative and full of self-doubt, not one of them seemed like an answer Sam wanted. She felt her chest getting tighter and all the muscles in her back were getting tense. She squeezed her hands trying to find something to focus on. "Mila count it down." He said calmly.

Five things she could see. Four things she could hear. Three things she could touch. Two things she could smell. One thing she could taste. A grounding technique Sam had taught her years ago. One she had used with Bucky when they first reunited two years ago. God had it really been that long? The thought only stirred up another string of thoughts until she felt a warm air fill her as it felt like her mind expanded and slowed. She looked over and saw Wanda's eyes were a hazy red as she realized what was happening. Wanda was using her powers to stop the anxiety attack.

"Thanks." She whispered as it became easier for her to breathe. Wanda smiled at her and Mila refocused just as Natasha's voice came over the communication system. Mila had a job to do, she couldn't focus on the past right now.

* * *

 ** _AN: please leave a review. give me some feedback. More flash back less flashback? More Bucky in Romania? More Mila working through things? Sometimes I get writer's block so feedback helps me._**


	6. Stepping Back into an Old Role

**AN: So sorry this took so long to get out. The new school year started and it was a roller coaster. We are headed to fall break soon so I will have time to post some more chapters hopefully. Bear with me please. Being a teacher is hard stuff. Please review.**

* * *

"A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked."

-Bernard Meltzer

* * *

"I've been checking out all potential leads and ads on the dark web your algorithm has had a hit on. Even though it's narrowed it down to fifteen potentials, I only narrowed it down to ten. I can't tell you where he is going to hit but I heard talk about a good job in Lagos that the men in the shady parts of town are talking about." Natasha reported over the intercom communication from her location in a small village in Nigeria.

"Well we will send the team to Lagos." Mila said full of conviction. "Stake out the location. Keep our ears to the ground. I want Vision to stay here with me. The rest of the team can blend in easily enough. I will keep running the program for you guys see if I get any other leads. Until then, I will need a map of the city. I want you guys to gear up and head out there. I'm going to make some arrangements for you guys while your packing and explain everything while your on the jet. By then I will have a better plan." The group looked to Steve who had been their leader, the strategist, the tactician, it came with the title. They wanted his approval on Mila's call.

"Sounds good. Avengers wheels up in thirty minutes. Take any gear you need but take civilian clothes as well. Let's go." He said getting up as the others followed suit. Mila stayed at the head of the table and began to pull out maps of the city and hotel accommodations. Steve stopped beside her and put his hand on her shoulder. She looked up at him and saw the small smile on his face. "Just like old times huh, Raden?"

"Not just like them, but close." She smiled back and put her hand over his. They didn't need to point out all the differences, they were both well aware. But a moment of silence passed between them as if in a memorial to their friends who were not there with them today. Mila gave Steve's had a squeeze before he pulled away and they got back to the mission at hand. She was not used to working through information gathering on a computer for a mission. This was usually something she did while researching for the Smithsonian a few years ago when she almost had a normal life. No Mila was more accustomed to flipping through decoded messages intercepted or paper trails back in the war. Even so, she still made use of the technology that practically took all the fun out of research.

 _Betty sorted through the massive amount of information she had received from various reconnaissance operatives within the SSR. Trying to organize them, as the men around here liked to throw the papers on her desk as if she were a secretary. She had been shoved into a corner desk nearly private behind the bookshelves of various files and records. Not exactly the ideal set up. She preferred to be out with the rest of the men and feel like their equal but outside of the Howling Commandos she knew equality was in short supply._

 _Reading through all the building layouts and photos she was trying to refocus after what seemed like hours. The Commandos had been back from their latest mission for about five hours which had kept Betty's mind racked. Bucky would always come visit her when they got back, and he was still absent. She drummed her pencil on the desktop and ran her fingers through her hair as she tried to not worry about her boyfriend._

 _Just then she felt two hands go on her shoulders and she dropped the pencil surprised at the contact. "This had better be a handsome sniper ready to take me out." Betty paused after the sentence came out realizing how her flirtatious line came out very dark._

 _"I hope you mean on a date." Bucky's low voice whispered in her ear before kissing her neck._

 _"Yeah, sorry you got my brain frazzled when you took forever to come see me." She spun around in her chair and placed a hand on the side of his face but jumped a bit when she saw a bandage on the side of his face and a bruise above his left brown. "What the hell happened?" She moved both hands to cup his face and quickly put on her figurative nurse's hat. "Are you ok? Do you have a headache or-" Bucky stopped her worrying by kissing her full on the mouth. He pushed her back against the desk and she let out a slight whimper as he pressed his body against hers pinning her to the location. His hands moved to grab her hips while Betty deepened the kiss. She moved her hands from the sides of his face to run her fingers through his slicked back hair._

 _Bucky slowly moved his hand downward to the edge of her skirt but Betty stopped him grabbing his hand. He smirked into their kiss and laughed a bit before he intertwined his fingers in hers. He still tried to slide his other hand up her thigh, even if there was hosiery between their flesh. Betty let him continue this time missing his touch. This mission had lasted two weeks, not counting the two days travel back and forth. She missed this man, the way he encouraged her, the way he believed in her, but most important the way he loved her without restraint. It was a wonder some days how the pair got anything done for the SSR when they were alone. Bucky's fingers moved to the clasp that held up her hosiery causing Betty to shuffle away from him. The movement caused a friction that Bucky was enjoying too much._

 _"Well looks like you're doing ok." Steve spoke causing the couple to pull back as if they had been shocked. Betty buried her face against Bucky's chest chewing on her bottom lip knowing that she was never going to hear the end of this._

 _"A woman's love is the best medicine Steve." Bucky's chest seemed to swell with pride at his statement._

 _"Yeah well don't overdose back here." Betty turned her head looking over to the righteous Captain America._

 _"Did you need to borrow him Steve?"_

 _"I was just coming to check up on him, he took a pretty hard hit from a Hydra Solider but I don't think he found the time to tell you about that." Betty pulled back from Bucky and gave him a death glare._

 _"How exactly did that happen_ dear?" _Steve knew Bucky was about to be in trouble so he nodded and mouth an apology before leaving the couple to their talk._

 _"Thanks punk!" Bucky called and Steve just waved. "Look darlin' it wasn't that bad."_

 _"We had to drag him back to the rendezvous!" Steve called from over his shoulder. Bucky glared at his friend who was just laughing as he walked away._

 _"Drug you back huh?" Betty crossed her arms and her jaw set slightly irritated._

 _"I was out for like twenty minutes. It was nothing."_

 _"God you have brain damage." Betty put her face down in her hand and Bucky pulled it back and lifted her chin back up._

 _"We already knew that." He said moving back in to kiss her but she put a finger to his lips pushing him back._

 _"No. I want to hear this story Buck." He sighed resting his forehead against hers._

 _"And then we can get back to the fun stuff?"_

 _"Depends on how much you strayed from my plan this time."_

"I promise we won't stray too far from the plan." Steve said from behind Mila as she was looking at strategic places to attack in Lagos and hotels to keep the team in.

"I appreciate that." She chuckled looking up over her shoulder at him.

"I'll make sure to get in some good punches on Rumlow for you." Steve gripped her shoulder reassuringly. She placed her hand over his and squeezed it.

"I think I broke his nose last time. Maybe you should try for a broken jaw, maybe a fractured collarbone, or if you're feeling real adventurous, you might cut off the parts that dangle." She smirked at him causing him to smile.

"I'll see what I can do." He ruffled her hair and walked out of the conference room going to make his rounds and see if the team was ready. Mila grabbed her laptop and moved to go plug it in in her room as she went to see the team off. As she walked out of her room she noticed Sam had his door open. She paused sitting her laptop down in the hallway seeing him sitting on the edge of his bed head down in his hands.

"Sam?" She whispered kneeling in front of him. He jumped completely surprised the woman caught him off guard. But then again, she was a former assassin.

"Hey." He slapped his hands on his knees. "Just trying to figure out with the weather if I should pack my swim trunks or not."

Mila nodded her head slowly. "You know you aren't fooling me. What's got you shook up?"

"Rumlow. I know what he did to you, and I know how long I lasted in a fight with him. I'm lucky I didn't die."

"You have a whole team behind you. You've trained since then. You've got great gear. Why worry?" Mila said placing a comforting hand on his knee.

"Because when I see him I may get reckless and try to get revenge. And I may get hurt, which means you'll be pissed at me. I've never been on a mission that was personal like this. " Mila gave him a small smile and moved her head to make direct eye contact with him.

"You're right. I will be pissed. So you have to keep a straight head. Do not get yourself hurt over me. I'm not worth it."

"You are." Sam said grabbing her hand. But unlike when she grabbed Steve's earlier, this wasn't a reassuring friend gesture but she felt the sincere panic that he may lose Mila because he knew how dumb he would get.

"Sam-"

"Seriously Mila you're a hell of a girl. The fact that any man would hurt you like Rumlow did… it just boils the blood. You don't deserve the shit that has happened. You deserve to be happy and have a normal life. Hang out with friends, find that special man to settle down with-"

"Sam I can't have that."

"I know. That doesn't make it any less depressing."

"Sam you got to get your head in mission mode. We can talk about my pathetic life after you catch Rumlow. I promise." Sam smiled and grabbed her hand intertwining his fingers in hers.

"Can I ask something?" Mila quirked a brow letting him know to go on. "When we would hang out at the VA after meetings, you always seemed to enjoy yourself." Sam started.

"Yeah so…" Mila was confused at where he was going with this.

"Do you think that if-"

"Sam you ready?" Steve asked from the doorway. The pair turned to look at Steve who had a duffle bag thrown over his shoulder.

"Yeah, just getting Mila's blessing to kick Rumlow's ass." Sam said rising to grab his own bag from the side of the bed.

"Get in line pal." Steve said walking away.

"I'll catch you later." Sam said following the Captain out of his room. Mila gave him a half smile before trotting to walk beside him down the hall. "You aren't going are you?"

"Silly bird." She started "If you knew better, I always see my team off before a mission." She beamed.

"It's true." Steve called from over his shoulder holding the elevator door open for them.  
"Be nice to leave for a mission without watching her make-out with a teammate for once." Mila glared at Steve as she entered the elevator.

"I'm sorry what?" Sam asked forgetting for a second that the pair of super soldiers served together during the war.

"Bucky." Mila reminded him with just a hint of disappointment that said man wasn't here.

"Yeah duh. I was thinking about our Avenger teammates." The doors closed and Steve looked over to Sam leaning against the wall.

"Which Avenger exactly would she make out with?" Steve questioned causing Mila to also turn towards Sam and cross her arms.

"Yeah Sam I'm interested to hear your answer."

"I'd say Tony since you're into bad boys." Mila let out a fake laugh at his answer. Steve rolled his eyes.

"I'd say Thor myself." Steve stated.

"Uh still no." Mila countered.

"Then who?"

"Still choosing Bucky."

"He's not an Avenger." Sam added as the doors opened.

"So? He's a hero to me and that's all that matters." She stuck her chin in the air as she walked out causing both men to shake their heads as they walked out into the prep area. The rest of the team had gathered and Wanda looked exceptionally nervous as she talked to Vision across the room. Mila put a hand on Steve's arm to make him aware she was going to speak to Wanda.

"Are you going to be ok?" Mila asked as she approached the young woman.

"I will eventually. Just the first time that I might fight living beings."

"Yeah I guess Ultron's minions don't count, huh?"

"If I hurt someone-"

"Wanda you've practiced with Steve plenty of times. You will do fine. The people who are working for Rumlow deserve whatever they get and then some. Don't dwell on it." Mila glanced over at Vision who confirmed what Mila was saying. "You know what I used to tell Natasha when I trained her?"

"You trained the Black Widow?" Wanda asked.

"You didn't see that when you were in my head?"

"No, your thoughts were very centered around Sargent Barnes."

"I see, well yes. I trained Natasha, she always thought of me as a mother. I told her 'don't worry about the damages child, things always get messy when you are delivering justice.'"

"Didn't you used to work for Soviet Russia?" Sam asked walking by. Mila rolled her eyes.

"Not the point Sam!" She sent a glare his way and only received a smirk in return. Mila shook her head and looked at Wanda. "Ok regardless of that, Wanda you get my point right?" Wanda nodded her head and pulled Mila in for a hug. She ruffled her hair and then squeezed her tight. "You'll do what's right." She whispered in her ear. Wanda pulled away and gave her a warm smile before releasing her to turn back to Vision. Mila took her cue to climb aboard the jet and find Steve. She found him at the wheel flipping switches to get the engine started. Silently she walked up behind him and placed her hands on the head rest while he focused on his task.

"Thank you." While her words were soft, the sharp jump from Steve would have made one think she had yelled. He turned to look at her calming down for a second.

"I didn't even hear you come up."

"That happens, former assassin and all." She waved her hand as she sat in the seat next to Steve in the cock pit. "I know that the courts absolved me of those sins, but I still want to thank you."

"Thank me? For what? I haven't knocked out Rumlow yet." He joked.

"For trusting me to plan this mission, for giving me a place to heal, sticking your neck out to the World Court, really just everything Steve."

"Hey," He stopped messing with the buttons for a moment and grabbed her hand. "that's what friends are for." He gave it a light squeeze and she offered a small smile in return.

"I'm still trying to come to terms with the fact that all that stuff I did, wasn't me, it was HYDRA but it's a pill to swallow."

"And we know how you are about taking medicine." Steve joked.

"Yeah well, it helps to have good friends around. I just wish Buck had the same."

Bucky paused when he made it to the 11th floor of the apartment complex. He felt very on edge when there were street cops talking to two of the couples on the floor. He tried to avoid their view and kept climbing the last floor to his place but his neighbor was standing in her doorway talking on her phone. As Bucky went to his door his neighbor had moved his way.

"(You're lucky, these burglars broke into the apartments below us and stole their TV's and some of their money before they were caught.)"

"(That's horrible. Were they the only ones?)" Bucky asked trying to see if he was safe or not.

"(Yes, but I'm calling my husband and telling him to bring home another lock for the door. Can't be too careful, these are crazy times we live in. And I remember the revolution!)" The woman went back into her apartment and Bucky followed suit. Nothing here seemed out of place but that didn't ease his fears. What if Hydra was trying to figure out where he was hiding? He couldn't leave. Mila would be here for him in no time. He was just now going to clean up the place for when that day came. He sighed and looked around the apartment. He started prioritizing tasks. He only had a few hour to clean the place before he had to go back to the shop. He started by gathering his older journals and some of the weapons most adaptable for various situations and putting them into his hikers bag. These were some of the more personal journal he had filled during his time with Mila and if Hydra came looking for him, he didn't want them to get their hands on that. He pulled out a loose floorboard by the kitchen and there was just enough room for the bag in the small crawlspace. He wanted to be ready to run the moment Mila came through the door, because he was getting worried he had been in this spot for too long.


End file.
